Monday, June 8, 2009

my closet is small, too small
im getting claustriphobic
I run out, the lights are off
I trip and crash to the floor
I try to run but my legs arent getting the message my brain is screaming
its to late
all around the dark memories gather
like daggers, your words fall against my naked soul
its crushes me and darkly, my virtue drips into the cracks in the floor
In horror i run back to my closet
"its safe in here" i tell myself
the memories hover close, just outside the door
now alone, a cascade of tears falls from my eyes like a broken tap.
this is all because of you.
Hating everything about you,
In the mirror, in public,
What should I do to you?
Nothing as usual.

I hate the way you look,
It makes me ill,
Confidence that you took,
Just let me walk away as you stay still.

I keeping coming back to the same old habit,
The habit I hate more than you,
Having to look at you every fucking day,
I hate it.

I hate you more than you know,
I should cut with a razor,
Giving more pleasure than you'd know,
And thats the last thing I want to do.
I always wondered what is the difference
between the world and me
while sitting on a mountain,
high as the world is free
And on one fine day,
while the stars were gleaming
I close my eyes over a cool pond,
watching it steaming.
On that silent day
i heard a symphony
Praise to the gods
i had a epiphany
It happened in the dark
under the sun's cruel glare
It was the most intolerable pain
i could ever bare
as far as the eyes could see
my sight of true reality
I was sitting there crying
while oh so delighted
To finally see
the world is blighted
My illusion was lifted
for whomever to see
That there is no difference
between the world and me